A Strange Portal For Ghosts

She had found it lying alone, deserted, abandoned in the attic. After making the discovery, Anna had gazed and marvelled at it for some time. Where had it come from? Why had no dust settled upon it, as it had done over everything else that resided in her attic? A layer of the thick dust blanketed the attic floor, and as the sunlight glared through the attic windows, the dust particles yet to settle were illuminated as they hovered in the stuffy air. Yet, the mirror looked flawless, untouched by age, not a finger print in sight.

Anna propped the mirror up against one of the thick, timber beams that jutted from the attic floor. Settling down into a comfortable position, she tentatively placed a finger against the glass. Her long, shaking finger went right through the glass like a portal. She flinched backwards in shock! Anna stared back, confused and bewildered! All she could think is, why do I feel a bad vibe. Anna felt a cold chill on her neck, as if some spirit was slowly breathing on her neck as if just being in a freezer! She turned herself around, but no one was there! Anna thought there might be a draft, so she ignored it at first. Until she started seeing orbs and hearing faint whispering! She was an expert in everything paranormal, so this was quite normal, to her at least…

A few months later, Anna had forgotten about everything that happened in the attic, so she was quite confident to go get the Halloween decorations. All she hated was cobwebs and spiders. Anna lived in Australia, so it was quite normal to see large spiders and snakes. But Anna hated huge bugs, all bugs in fact. As Anna climbed the ladder, she heard an eerie sort of singing coming from a dark corner of the attic. She saw a little girl in chains and ropes, she sat there singing a sad, spine chilling tune. “Oh mother of me, how dare you…” She sang. Anna crept backwards and never went up there again…

7 thoughts on “A Strange Portal For Ghosts”

  1. Wow, you are the master of suspense, I can picture that little girl in chains! Will be sleeping with the lights on tonight.

  2. There is some really interesting things going on with your writing. I wish I could have a chat with you to find out why you made some of the decisions you did about word choice and sentence placement. Also, it just isn’t fair to lead up to something so interesting and then drop it 😉

    Mr. C
    Noel, Missouri USA

  3. Wow, what an enticing introduction to a story! I loved your use of descriptive language, so vivid! I would be curious to know why you made some of the punctuation choices. Excellent work drawing the reader in, I want so badly to know what happens next!

  4. Your descriptive writing is excellent, I admire your use of vocabulary! I was curious, what was your inspiration for your writing? I picture this piece being published in a collection of short, scary stories. Keep up the great work!

    Mrs. Link
    Spokane, Washington (USA)

  5. Hi Chloe,
    Fantastic story. So creepy and fun at the same time! This is quite an original storyline that the ending jumped at me! Your descriptions were fantastic, and I loved your imagery (the girl in chains was frightening.
    Something you can build on: start developing your main character, Anna, more. I think this is a great start to a story, and I would love to know more about Anna. A good plot makes a story good, but well-developed characters make it great.
    Again BUILD ON THIS. I can’t emphasize how creepy this story is, and I want to read more! I love how you are writing on your own — as a future English teacher, that makes me very happy :).

    Mr. D
    Spokane, Washington

  6. By using anonymity of the identity of ‘it’, your opening sentence was an effective hook. It might be helpful to review your frequent use of exclamation mars, less is more:) I hope that you write a continuation to this suspenseful story.

  7. Wow, what an interesting and suspenseful story! One thing you could work on is giving a little more information about Anna – I thought it was interesting that she lived in Australia, maybe you could mention that earlier in the story. But you have amazing details and I really enjoyed reading it. Great job!

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