Budgie Group

Long ago in africa lived a group of rare budgies and they are the most popular birds in the world. There names where Pedro,Jack,Zap,Buddy and Jo. Jo was the youngest in the group but also the most bravest, he can take on a snake and he can destroy a clock with one punch of a wing. But one day the sun turned red so it was boiling hot and to hot for the budgies but on that day the hunters came and will take them away to a pet shop,there to cool for a pet shop!

3 thoughts on “Budgie Group”

  1. Great use of adjectives to describe the budgies; both ‘rare’ and ‘popular’ allow the reader to imagine the African birds. A target that you may like to focus on could be the correction of a few spellings; for example, at the beginning of the second sentence, ‘there’ should be spelled ‘their’ – this is because the names belong to the people. My favourite part of your writing is the inclusion of exclamation marks! The text becomes a lot more exciting when you use different punctuation.

  2. I like the sound of Jo the budgie. How did he learn to destroy a clock too? That is sad that they will go to a pet shop!

  3. Hi Max,
    I loved your piece it was really good and descriptive. I liked how you said that jo was the youngest but he learned how to break a clock I guess he is pretty strong. Also I liked how you said how the budgies are birds and lived in Africa also that they are the most popular birds in the world. I wonder what your next 100 WC is going to be and why you are going to pick it. One thing you could have done is bold the five words.
    Happy Writing,
    Mackenzie in Illinois

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