Easter on my 20th birthday

Once upon a time there was a little boy called Jim he was nineteen his birthday was on easter for his 20th birthday. his dad said he would get him a BMW!! for his  birthday now it was easter  he opend all of his presants but one.He  didn’t open his BMW!! but when he saw it he took the keys from his dad and hugged him hard so Jim drove to the easter egg hunt and then arfter 3 hole hours he drove home happy as the sun and he said to his dad ‘thank you for the best birthday ever .

2 thoughts on “Easter on my 20th birthday”

  1. Great job on your post this week. I really liked it and it really interested me. This post was a really good post that I really liked to read.

  2. Dear Tobias,
    I like how well you described Jim’s happiness in the story. I also liked how you said what type of car it was. I would suggest adding more capitalization and punctuation. Overall, your story was great!

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