THE HERO HAND

Once there was a boy called Jeff who was going on holiday with his parents and one of his friend they where going to China. It took a long time for them to get there it took 11hours to get there. But they stayed in a hotel for the night. When morning came they started to go in the car and get brekfast . In the end they got there at about 5 in the afternoon they got diner and they got pizza and they enjoyed it so they where going for a week so they where for a few day and they enjoyed it the end.

2 thoughts on “THE HERO HAND”

  1. Hi! I really like how you described how long it took to get there. You also did a great job in putting some cool adjectives. Great job.

  2. Hi Alfie,
    I think that your story was good. One thing I was wondering was what was the main idea in it? I was a little confused. Is it about the hand or something else? One thing you could do better was the details such as transitions. One time I went on a trip to Wisconsin Dells and I stayed at the hotel called Great Wolf Lodge and Wilderness Resort. Have you ever been on a trip to the Dells,or maybe China like in your story.
    Happy Writing!
    Elyssa in illinois in 5RC
    check out my blog!

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