The Mystory Box

hi my name is Bob, and I like playing fortnite  and. I heard the door slam  so I went to see what is was and it was a box .I waited until my mum got back and she said “when did it arrive?”she said it arrive just after you  left and it feels disepiring and reapiring. What should we do With it then? We should destroy  it and so they did. they tried and tried but I would not move an inch.so we asked my dad if he could but it only moved a little bit so we all did it and it moved on the road.

The End

4 thoughts on “The Mystory Box”

  1. Hey Sam, I play fortnite too, still you need capital letters for Bob and Hi my name is Bob.
    Seriously, you made me laugh at the first place, your story is incredible!

    Well done Sam!

  2. Hi Sam,
    Great story the only things that you need to correct are your spellings and genuinely just making your stories make sense. Apart from that it’s a great story

  3. Hi Sam!

    I really liked your story, I thought it was quite imaginative and it would be interesting to see where the story might lead if you kept on writing, for one thing, what is in that mysterious box?

    I also thought it was very good when you used speech marks (“when did it arrive?”), you used them correctly which was great!

    However, there are a few things that I think you could maybe get your teacher to help you with to make this story even better. For example, where you wrote “disepiring and reapiring” I think you may have actually meant “disappearing and reappearing” but that’s okay, they are quite complicated words to spell! Also, remember that sentences should always start with a capital letter. However, I still think that you wrote a really good story Sam and I look forward to seeing what you write in the future!

    Keep on writing!

    Ana, Team 100WC
    Oxford, England

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