The Poorly Goldfish!

On Sunday, I saw my Dad climbing a ladder, holding a bucket of water and cleaning my window. Just then a brown bird flew over my head and landed on my shoulder then it flew away. I went inside and told my Mum that a brown bird landed on my shoulder. Then my Mum said excitedly ” WE’RE GOING TO GET A NEW GOLDFISH!”. I got in the car and my Mum slowly got in the car then we went to go and get the goldfish we called it Quagmire. Quagmire looked happy in with the other fish. It was so small compared to the other ones !

5 thoughts on “The Poorly Goldfish!”

  1. Hi Amelia! I really enjoyed your post! Especially when the bird flew on your shoulder! Last week my class skyped with the head of 100WC! You should do it too. If I did this post, I would write about how my goldfish flew onto a ladder and flew back into his fishbowl. One thing you could do to make your writing better, would be to add some dialogue.
    -Brynn in Illinois

  2. Hello Amelia,

    Firstly, thank you for highlighting the prompt words in blue. They were very easy to find and see they were effectively used. Well done.

    What a strange series of events! It seems like an ordinary sort of day with family in and around their home when mum has a surprise, buying a new goldfish.

    I loved the name, Quagmire. It could mean soft, boggy ground or an awkward/hazardous situation. Perhaps Quagmire has some more adventures ahead with so many other bigger fish.

    With your growing skills as a writer and creative ideas, I hope you can continue entering the 100WC. Good writers should share their adventures.

    Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

  3. Hi Amelia! That must have been an awesome day! I really liked how you highlighted the words so that they will be easier to find! I enjoyed your story, and really liked it! Keep on writing!

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