The Sleepover

Hi our names are Nia,Amelia,Nicola and Nika. We are baking a cake now and it getting really messy !.If you are wondering the sleepover is at my house and its Amelia who is writing this story.We are home alone which is an opportunity to mess around !!.30 mins later…. “The cake is ready” I said. When we were taking the cake out of the oven we heard our alarm go off so we went to check and there was a person trying to get in.It wasn’t the alarm in the kitchen.We got to scared we snuck out of the back gate and biked to my mums work to tell her we did call the police as well if you are wondering.We just got a call from out neighbours saying the police were at my house.But there wasn’t just one person there was a gang of them.Although they ran quickly, they were still not making enough progress.

6 thoughts on “The Sleepover”

  1. Hi Amelia,
    I enjoyed reading your story and it was really good and I really like how your narrator introduces you as Amelia and I really liked the names you chose in your story and sometimes in my story I sometimes use names like that to and I think that I really liked how you used commas and things like that and maybe what you should improve on your ending but I really think you did a good job in my class we basically do the same thing.

  2. Good job! I like the story and that it had a good ending. I also like the style of how someone who had experienced the event was writing the story, not just a narrator. You might want to make the ending a bit more clear next time. Keep up the good work!

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