The Zoo!

One day, I went to a zoo with my family. The first thing we saw was the lions because they are my Mums favourite animal. They were roaring as loud as a digger! Then when we left the lions we were nearly death! Then we went to my favourite animal giraffes. There were three adults two nearly grown up and a baby giraffe! The baby giraffe was so cute and the Mum was sitting next to her. Next we went to the smelly hippo’s most of them were outside. We didn’t stay there long because they were so SMELLY! Finally we went to see the Elephants but they weren’t there. they were chasing someone and although they ran quickly they weren’t making enough progress!

2 thoughts on “The Zoo!”

  1. Well done on your writing Amelia.
    You wrote a very good story with only 100 words based on an interesting phrase.
    I really like the interesting story about your trip to the zoo! Good opening – really grabbed my attention and you kept me interested until the end.
    Your writing is well organised and you’ve done really with your ending. You’ve only got 100 words so it’s iomprtant to choose them wisely !
    Looking forward to reading your writing in the future.
    Keep up the good work !

    Shane, Teacher
    Dublin, Ireland
    (Team 100)

  2. Hi Amelia! To start with, I thought that your writing was really good! You added a lot of details such as the little giraffe, and the smelly hippo. This helped improve your story a lot. Anyways, you did a great job!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *