Volcano Explosion !

Once upon a time in a far away land lived a girl named sparkle.She was going on a trip with her best friend pearl .They have been friends since they were born.They were going to see the chocolate egg volcano.Vroom vroom the car drove down the road as fast as it could.In the nick of time they reached the desert.They got out the car and got there picnic.As soon as they reached the volcano it exploded with  all sorts of yummy things.The best part was the chocolate and cream it was so yummy.Vroom of they went back home.


8 thoughts on “Volcano Explosion !”

  1. Dear Annabel

    your story was great. you described a lot and I like that because I don’t know many things. That’s all I have to say. Goodbye

  2. dear Annabel
    I love your story because we live in the limestone coast and we have volcano but sadly it doesn’t explode yummy things. I think you should try using some problem in your story and u should also a sizzling start, but overall I really enjoy your story.
    From say law lah

  3. Hi Annabel
    I really like your story because I could really imagine it I like the word [vroom] for the car going. I could feel that explosion was big and lot of yummy food coming out I also wish there was a real one. I think you could have made a better starting.
    Thanks for a good story
    Jeh Eh Moo Say / https://jehehmoo67nps.edublogs.org/

  4. hi Annabel
    your story was nice and it was like adventure for me.
    thank you.

  5. hello Annabel my name is Moo Dway
    your story was Fascinating not just because you wrote about volcanoes but how you expressed it wildly with words i hope to see more stories,
    from Moo Dway

  6. Dear Annabel,

    I really liked your story because it was adventurous and the volcano part was exciting i also live in the Lime Stone Coast but our volcano doesn’t explode delicious candy,you should make a problem and then solve it with an excellent ending but anyways i really liked your story.

    From Ma Myat Way

  7. your story is different…and I like it! you actually tell a bit about the characters before you even begin the story and doing this makes your story sound very good. well done! 🙂 🙂 🙂

  8. Make sure you use the right words like when you said they got there picnic it should be got their picnic but i liked the story. Good work keep it up

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