WHAT HAPPEN TO JIM

One day there was a boy called Tom,Tom was tall,blond hair and dark eyes,Tom was going to Jim’s house for tea.Jim saw Tom from a mile away,Jim ran down the hill and said”I haven’t seen you till last month”  Tom was very happy( but Jim did not no that Tom made a trap near the lake.) They both walked up the hill talking about who is there favourt person in the world.When they got to Jim’s house, POW  Jim fell through the lake,AHHHHHHHH HELP ME,”ha that ‘s right you are not my friend now are you NO. (see you in 10 years time).

4 thoughts on “WHAT HAPPEN TO JIM”

  1. Hi Nicola! I just wanted to tell you that I really liked your story and that you did a great job with giving the characters lines that they said and sound effects. Overall I give it a 10/10, keep writing!

  2. HI Nicola.I’m Colden from Stillwater NY.I really like how you used the dialogue in your story.Maybe next time whenever someone different talks go to the next line and start their.KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK NICOLA!!!!!!!!!

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