It had been a couple of days since Poppy had slepped over Chloe house. After school Poppy walked home with Chloe and on the way home they had to go though a wood Poppy turned here head right and she saw a black statue Poppy jumped out of her skin then they remembered about the sleepover they ran away and Chloe rang her mum and her mum said “don’t be such a whip” they went closer and Poppy had the guts to touch it so she did . Poppy’s mom was at Chloe house. There mom said they don’t go out .
3 thoughts on “WHERE DO WE GO”
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You included some nice description and some direct speech. I enjoyed it. Does it need more full stops to demarcate sentences though?
Mr. M. (Team 100WC)
Bedfordshire, UK
Hi Poppy,
I liked the way you introduced the story and characters, which then started to develop. I think there are areas that you could improve on by adding more punctuation. I’m also not too sure what the last sentence means. I hope Poppy and Chloe are ok!
Good Job! I liked how you left the reader on a cliff hanger where they won’t really know what happens which gives the story a mystery feeling. I also like how you included the figurative language “She jumped out of her skin.” They only thing I noticed was that there were a few misspelled words.
Keep up the good work!